What does serenity look like?

I am three years into recovery and I still have trouble identifying serenity. At first I would have said that serenity was the lack of conflict in the house. Later, I would have focused on my response to others as an indication of serenity. Now, I find myself focusing more on the intent that I bring to the table and every action that I take in the day, as an indicator of how closely I approach serenity.

Note the progression, if you will. I moved from focusing on others to focusing on how I felt, moving past how I responded and on to the intent with which I responded.

Serenity is not a quiet house. Serenity is not my calm response to anger and disdain. Serenity is now the moves that I make, the willful intent with which I pursue my life, with no expectation of return on my mental, physical and emotional investment.

What does serenity look like?

I cannot say what serenity looks like for you; I do not walk your path. You cannot say what serenity looks like for me.

We can agree on common indicators of serenity. We can agree that a loving, detached response to others may indicate the presence of serenity. We can agree that  a willing approach to divinity, in whatever form that takes, is the likely indicator of  an approach the serene, but we cannot define it for the other. Just for ourselves, knowing serenity when we find it is hard enough.

Serenity is for me a constantly changing path in which I make my day-to-day Journey, hoping to learn all the while, and expecting in return nothing more than having done no wrong to others at the end of the day.

That’s good enough for me.

————-
See here for Diane Haugh Moretti’s take on Serenity.